Quick and Dirty Rental Review: I Spit On Your Grave (remake)

Generally I am not a big fan of remakes, because usually the original vision is lost and it never quite adds up. I will sometimes make exceptions for horror movies.  I think because the methods used for making the scary gory stuff has changed a bit, and more can be done.  There have been some pretty good remakes over the years. One of my favorites being The Hills Have Eyes. And of course there were some remakes that should never have been done, such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Horror has been a favorite genre of mine for a very long time. I treat horror movies much like sex and pizza.  (Even if it’s bad…etc…etc)  Generally I don’t turn them down, although as I have gotten older the gore just isn’t that fun anymore and I am not a big fan of torture porn. (read: Saw)

I decided to use my free monthly Redbox rental and pick up I Spit On Your Grave, the remake. I had no idea it was remade, and was a bit shocked to see it. Since I loved the original so much, I figured why not.  I went into this movie not expecting much at all, I was putting a pretty big wager on the fact it was going to suck. I was pleasantly surprised.  There were a few points where it got a little draggy.  And at the end it was straight up torture porn, there are quite a few cringe “Oh my god” moments.  But I am glad I took the chance, it was an entertaining slasher movie.

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Quick & Dirty Film Review: The Mechanic

Let me be honest right from the start, put Jason Statham in a movie and you are putting my ass in a seat.  He may never win an an Oscar but I am not going to see a movie to watch him spout dramatic monologue while looking pensive.  I am going to see him be crafty, smart mouthed and kick a lot of ass.  (Although he does do pensive kind of well in a hardened action start kind of way)

The Mechanic delivers this nicely to me and I get the  chance to see Ben Foster in a movie. Now there is a guy wh

o knows how to play broken immoral sociopaths. His performance in this movie was pretty good. One of the things I really liked about The Mechanic was the look.  A lot of it looks like they went back to 1972 (the year the original Charles Bronson movie was released)  to film it and it made it a lot more entertaining for me to watch.

Look this isn’t a cinematic blockbuster, it’s not a five star, ten star affair. It probably won’t even get past 50% freshness. It’s an  action movie with plot holes the size of Texas, lots of gun fire, very graphic violence and naked time with a hot girl. Oh yeah most importantly, shit blows up.

What more could a girl ask for?

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A New Approach to Remakes

I’ve been hearing a lot of rumblings lately about remakes that are on the horizon. Two of these remakes have made me rather irritable, and I’ll explain why!

Footloose is chief of the offenders, getting a young and WB’esque cast and probably a bigger budget than the original got. My first question when I read about this remake is “why?” Why is this remake needed? Hell, why is it even wanted? There wasn’t anything wrong with the original and it’s not like the message has gotten less relevant over the years. Personally, I think it’s just a really poor excuse to cash in on the mass film nostalgia we’re all feeling at this point in time and to make a quick buck. Although, I can’t see this doing all that well in the theater…

The Princess Bride is another remake that people keep bringing up, although nothing has been set in stone. Same question applies. “Why?”

Here’s an idea, Hollywood: re-release these old films in theaters with a wide release. Put these classics up against the crap that’s out these days and watch the sales come in. I’m pretty sure a re-release of The Princess Bride would be insanely cheap compared to the costs of pairing Zach Efron and LiLo together in this fantasy tale.

What do you think about this remake debacle? Is it getting worse?