The Oscars are here again, and I thought I would do a rough "live blog" about my thoughts as the winners are announced this year. Since I haven't seen quite as many of the films nominated as I would have liked this year, my commentary will probably come off as humorous. I  mean, how can I bitch and complain about movies that I haven't seen winning awards I could care less about, right? Haha, well, this IS TCC and we're all about "that little extra kick!" Anyway, keep checking back to this post for my reactions to this year's Academy Awards! That is, if you care.

Note for time zones behind mine: Spoiler Alert.

Okay, starting with the red carpet shit.

I'm also over at Row Three doing their live blogging event. Come in and say hi!

General Comments

RED CARPET (PRESHOW) SHIT

- Kathryn Bigelow is quite stunning. Filmmaker crush alert! She can direct me ANY day.

- Barbara Walters isn't doing her special anymore apparently, and still no one cares.

- George Clooney spotted. He's..attractive.

- Colin Firth spotted. I'm sorry. Don't see why the ladies swoon over him. (EDIT: Jandy set me straight there..I guess..)

- Haven't seen any CRAZY fashion yet. Too bad.

- Kirsten Stewart needs to date me, ASAP.

- Ryan Seacrest is describing that the Awards are changing and being more "Idol" like. Uh oh..

- Currently watching the Red Carpet on E! I got through ten minutes of The Wa Wa special and got too bored.

- Gerard Butler. I can almost divorce him from "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA"

- I heart Jason Bateman. Is that an accent? My mind is blown.

- Now onto the official red carpet show. We're being introduced to people with mics who hardly matter.

- Maggie is tall, and Clooney is high-fiving the crowds. What a nice fellow. He's attractive.

- Prince of Persia? Psh. Whatever.

- Zach Efron near anything resembling awards is kind of weird. "I feel like I snuck in." Oh. That's how he's there. Makes sense. Apparently he plays the young Simon from Firefly (pointed out by Joe P.). MIND BLOWN.

- God's daughter looks fabulous.

- Still trying to figure out why The Blind Side was nominated for anything but the Trite Award..

- Was that Antonio Banderas rocking the mountain man beard?!

- Every year I wish someone would run up and tackle the peeps carrying the votes. Every year I'm disappointed.

- Two things: Miley needs to shut the hell up (forever), and Tina Fey is so pretty. *swoon*

THE SHOW ITSELF

- Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin better not disappoint.

- NEIL PATRICK HARRIS ALERT!!! FUCKING CHRIST. I DON'T NEED TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCARS!

- I kind of want Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin to be my gay adoptive parents.

- Lots of weird humor fail going on. But the Damn Helen Mirren joke was quite funny.

- The 3D joke was kind of funny. Bring back NPH.

- Clooney is getting kind of pissed.

NOW WE START (thank god)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Winner: Christoph Waltz.

Reaction: Makes sense. He was the only part of Inglorious Basterds that was good. Seriously. IB was fun, but Christoph didn't phone it in like everyone else.

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Winner: Up.

Reaction: Doesn't deserve it. Was the weakest animated film this year. My vote was with Fantastic Mr. Fox. So much better. But Pixar is an Oscar darling and therefore can NEVER lose. Actually, Up kind of loses it's steam after the first third. Mr. Fox stayed delightful all the way through. And this is coming from someone who isn't always that impressed with Wes Anderson.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Winner: Crazy Heart

Reaction: Cool. Didn't see the movie and I generally care very little about this category. Yawn.

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Reaction: A solid screenplay. I accept. In my opinion, QT is not a good screenwriter, so he doesn't need to be encouraged by awards. But I wouldn't say that Hurt Locker was an amazing screenplay either. Oof.

Best Short Film, Animated

Winner: Logorama

Reaction: I wish I had seen these. I REALLY wish I had seen these.

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

Winner: Music By Prudence

Reaction: What the FUCK is with the red head interrupting that fellow? Anyway. Mark this as a documentary short I need to see!

Best Short Film, Live Action

Winner: The New Tennants

Reaction: No opinion on the matter. Don't dig short films all that much. But no matter. I'll never get to see this anyway since short films are rarely as easy to get ahold of as animated shorts.

Best Achievement in Makeup

Winner: Star Trek

Reaction: It was good makeup work. Glad Star Trek wins one at least.

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

Winner: Precious.

Reaction: Saw it coming. But that's how things work when you write Oscar bait.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Winner: Monique, Precious

Reaction: Makes sense, I guess. Seems like Oscar bait though. I think it should have been Vera.

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Winner: Avatar

Reaction: Hey art direction peeps, you're no longer needed. Say hello to your replacement, the computer.

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Winner: The Young Victoria

Reaction: Sorry, but Parnassus was robbed completely in this category. Most period pieces have the same look and it seems like they're all cutting from a very basic template.

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Reaction: Oh cool. Just kidding. It had some pretty standard war-time film sound editing.

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Reaction: Really? Against Star Trek? Hell, Transformers 2 had better sound mixing. I like that Hurt Locker is winning out. But jeez. Very uninspired sound work.

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Winner: Avatar

Reaction: Didn't doubt you trendsetters for a minute. Inglorious Basterds did it WAY better, though.

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Winner: Up.

Reaction: What a fucking shit score. Let's play four sad notes all the time. BRILLIANT!

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Winner: Avatar

Reaction: When the whole point of your movie is to look pretty, it makes sense to win this category.

Best Documentary, Features

Winner: The Cove

Reaction: Looks alright. I called this during the clip show.

Best Achievement in Editing

Winner: The Hurt Locker.

Reaction: Good. The film was edited very well.

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Winner: The Secret In Her Eyes

Reaction: I never watch these films year in and year out. That's more of a slight against me as I feel like I should probably get on that one of these years. Oh but I don't want to READ my films WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Winner: Jeff Bridges

Reaction: The dude abides. Deservedly so.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Winner: Sandra Bullock

Reaction: For her role in "Rich White Girl Saves Black Kid From Poverty: The Movie." OH: Fuuuuuuuu---

Best Achievement in Directing

Winner: Kathryn Bigelow

Reaction: Yay. She did a GREAT job.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Reaction: I'm happy.

Wrapping Up This Whole Mess:

The Academy is still trying to figure out how to organize a good show, and they're ALMOST there. But they have a real problem with pacing. I mean, you cut out things from your itinerary to shorten your program, not so you can pad it with ridiculous crap. Interpretive dance? Bitch, please! Oh, and the writing bit between Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr was way more true than they might have intended. Writers are the bitter curmudgeons of the film industry. Unite!

What an anti-climactic ending to a still bloated show.