3D: Ironically Shallow

Posted by thegreatredhope

How do we feel about this new 3D craze? Are we liking it? Do we care? Or, are we seeing straight through the shallow attempt at "innovation" to its lazy core known as "gimmick"? I believe the latter. Not to sound too bitter, though. I like shiny new technology as much as the next guy. In fact, I can recall quite a few times the faux-Zippo lighter app for the iPhone had me totally transfixed. It was EXACTLY LIKE a REAL ZIPPO O-M-G. And yet, Apple never claimed that simulated lighters were the future standard for cellphones. Nor should they, since in the end, it's just a damn gimmick. An obvious one. So why is it that the public seems to accept the 3D craze as a legitimate bar-raising?

This ain't exactly a rennasaince in the filmmaking world. By my count, there have already been TWO (count 'em) TWO 3D crazes in the history of commercial film. I'm sure we're well aware of the first: An attempt to pack the drive-ins and showcase those extra-scary atomic monsters in the 50's, and something about serial killers in the 80's. It seems, to the layman sociologist, that the 80's 3D revival had less staying power than in the 50's. Think about all those ridiculously cheesy films from the 80's that serve no purpose for existing outside of their 3D effects. They're now perceived ONLY as crappy, cheap excuses to show off 3D. Did any of them muster their way into the permanent social pop psyche? With or without 3D? Jaws 3D did, but not for any respectable reasons.

OK, we can live with those, since it was a good deal of second-rate horror films and sequels. But imagine living with the onslaught of 3D films today and seeing them outside of their gimmicky appearance. Will ANYONE care about Monsters Vs. Aliens' 3D prowess in 5 years? I'm concerned the studios are trying to get as much of an impulse cash-in as possible. At this point, it seems like anything will be placed through the 3D ringer. Disney's tuning up a few of their old films, and most future animated films will come equipped. Just some food for thought. How long will that effect be cool? Even on a movie that you really like? I guess it's convenient that the theaters can charge a little more for each ticket (hey mac, those glasses ain't free!). Like I said, it's a cash-in. Prepare thyself to experience an onslaught of films that won't exist beyond this little time bubble of a forced 3D renaissance.

You show me a film that was given the new-fangled 3D treatment purely to enhance the story, (and honesly, what story ever in the history of time has hinged solely on its dimensionality?) and I'll show you a shallow film.

Further Reading

Until Next Time.