Diagnosis:Film-Weekend of April 8

This week we get a dumb remake, an interesting action thriller, a sappy surfer flick, a stoner fantasy comedy, a film about Bill Hicks, a documentary about the 70s DIY film movement, an IMAX animal thing, an infuriating romantic comedy and Meek's Cutoff. Really, that's about it. The rest are mostly "whatever." My money is on that action thriller, by the way.
What are you planning on seeing this weekend? What do you think based on the trailers? Do any of these look good? Sound off in the comments section!
Films after the jump!
Quick and Dirty Rental Review: I Spit On Your Grave (remake)

Generally I am not a big fan of remakes, because usually the original vision is lost and it never quite adds up. I will sometimes make exceptions for horror movies. I think because the methods used for making the scary gory stuff has changed a bit, and more can be done. There have been some pretty good remakes over the years. One of my favorites being The Hills Have Eyes. And of course there were some remakes that should never have been done, such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Horror has been a favorite genre of mine for a very long time. I treat horror movies much like sex and pizza. (Even if it’s bad...etc...etc) Generally I don’t turn them down, although as I have gotten older the gore just isn't that fun anymore and I am not a big fan of torture porn. (read: Saw)
I decided to use my free monthly Redbox rental and pick up I Spit On Your Grave, the remake. I had no idea it was remade, and was a bit shocked to see it. Since I loved the original so much, I figured why not. I went into this movie not expecting much at all, I was putting a pretty big wager on the fact it was going to suck. I was pleasantly surprised. There were a few points where it got a little draggy. And at the end it was straight up torture porn, there are quite a few cringe “Oh my god” moments. But I am glad I took the chance, it was an entertaining slasher movie.
Movie Quote Horoscope: April 4

This week I've decided to start a new game here on Technicolor Commentary. It's called the Movie Quote Horoscope. I've pulled quotes from films based on the characteristics listed in the Western Horoscope. It's your job to guess who said each quote and what movie the quote is from. Obviously it's easy to find the answers by looking it up on the web, but if you're a true quote connoisseur you should be able to get these without having to leave the page.
You can guess the answers in the comments section and I will replace the blanks below with the right answers as you guess them, giving you credit for the guess. Also, feel free to discuss the films mentioned here as they are definitely worth talking about!
Your Movie Quote Horoscope can be found right after the jump!
Diagnosis:Film-Weekend of April. 1

This weekend we've got the jellybean-shitfest that is Hop, the horrifyingly lame Insidious as well as a completely cut up version of The King's Speech. Source Code is also playing this weekend, which is my personal choice for viewing this weekend. What are you guys seeing? Do any of these films stand out to you? Let us know in the comments!
Films after the jump.
Quick and Dirty Rental Review: How Do You Know

Swigs of Sucker Punch

I am not entirely sure how I feel about this movie.
The bad:
- Zack tried to play this movie off as "Women kick ass" when it just portrays "Dudes are assholes and women just have to grin and bear it until someone comes to save them".
- Baby Doll's escape fantasies are basically straight video game rips, but the movie is supposed to be based in what appears to be the 50s.
- A bit of the CGI sucks. (Though it is kind of funny considering the game it obviously references)
- The big unspoken evil in the movie was abuse, but it was subtle enough for GADS of people to miss it.
- It is really, really depressing.
The middle:
- The dialogue was fairly meh and full of clichés. - I'll give that a pass since it was not only staged in a mental institution full of severely damaged people, but also had a traumatized young girl who dived into fantasy at every chance as the editor. Zack probably wasn't thinking that hard, but that angle makes it better.
- It seems Snyder had good intentions for the story, but got lost in his own ideas of empowerment and was thwarted further by nitpicking edits.
- The protagonists are pretty much blank slates. Many of the folks who dislike this movie hate that, but it touches back on the fact that this movie is very game, and/or action flick, based.
But on the frosted side:
- Armored mech with a pink bunny on it. (I'm easy sometimes.)
- Most of the CGI was very pretty. I left the movie drunk off the visuals.
- I'm a gamer. Sometimes I have to take turns playing a game. It doesn't make the game any less fun.
- The first few minutes of the movie, which lacked dialogue, were extremely well done. If the whole movie would have been that, it would have been fantastic.
- The soundtrack, though full of covers, fit the scenes quite well.
Wait... Pretty, even sounds hot, kind of stupid, and you wake up the next day with a headache from the past night's events.
Did I pick up Sucker Punch at the bar?
Diagnosis: Film-Weekend of Mar. 25

This weekend there's Sucker Punch, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 and a bunch of other films that you probably won't be able to see because they're all playing on too few screens. There's also a film about a dysfunctional family that promises to be funny, but it has Sarah Silverman in it and I am not that big of a fan of her work in general. I dunno, folks. This is probably one of those weekends where I catch up with the films I've missed from the previous weeks. What say you? What are you watching this weekend?
Films after the jump.
Knowing is One Big Spoiler Alert

Over the course of doing my "Diagnosis:Film" posts, I've seen quite a few movies. And by that I just mean I've seen their fully-spoilerific trailers. It seems like these days a trailer needs to give you every beat from the upcoming film, and it needs to spoil almost anything that might have dragged your butt into your local multiplex. The first example that comes to mind is the Iron Man 2 trailer, which shows perhaps the only awesome scene in the movie in which Tony Stark pulls out a travel-sized Iron Man suit and uses it to kick Mickey Rourke's (played by Mickey Rourke) ass. Wouldn't that have been quite the pleasant surprise? You expect to get your standard fare Iron Man action, but this blindsides you out of nowhere.
Yeah.
The moment I saw that trailer, I realized I had seen all the best bits. And it's true, all that was left were the uninteresting dialog moments and the forced chemistry between RDJ and GP. But I digress. Trailers have a terrible habit of giving you everything they can to try and get you into the seat, when perhaps the teaser trailer was more than enough.
Here are 10 teaser trailers that I thought best proved that you don't need to get all the best bits into the trailer to make the film look interesting. Granted, there are probably more out there, but these were easily my favorites.
List after the jump!
Diagnosis: Film-Weekend of Mar. 18

This week looks to be a slightly less interesting week than the previous, with the big contender being Limitless, starring Bradley Cooper, and Paul, starring Seth Rogan's voice and two guys who need to go back to working with Edgar Wright. Do any of these films grab you as something you absolutely MUST see, or is it all just rental fodder? I'd love to hear from any New York people who might get a chance to see Bill Cunningham New York.
Films after the jump!
Quick and Dirty Rental Review: Due Date




