Written By: Steven Moffat
Directed By: Peter Hoar

A TCC RATING OF
***~~ (3/5)

All will be revealed at last!

Just kidding.

But seriously, we get a major reveal at the end of the episode as well as at least a hundred more questions as to what the heck is going on. What did you think of the episode? Were you thrilled by the turn of events or turned off by them? Was Rory a badass or what? As always, our thoughts about the episode are immediately following the synopsis. And feel free to chime in with your own thoughts as there's quite a lot to mull over.

Synopsis and thoughts after the jump!

A Good Man Goes To War begins with The Doctor recruiting several old allies: Sontaran Commander Strax, Silurian Madame Vastra and her human companion Jenny, and the black market trader Dorium Maldovar, who was last seen in Pandorica Opens. Meanwhile, Rory collects intel on Amy's whereabouts from a Cybermen fleet and then tries to get River Song to come along to help with the assault. She refuses and explains to Rory that this is where The Doctor will find out her true identity and that she can't come along just yet.

While this is happening, Madame Kovarian (Creepy Eye Patch Lady) prepares her troops stationed at Demon's Run to fight the Doctor. Assisting her with this endeavor are the Order of the Headless Monks, who take to their name quite literally. Among the soldiers is a young woman named Lorna Bucket, who claims to have met the Doctor at a young age while in the Gamma Forests. When she tries to befriend Amy by giving her a cloth token with Melody's name on it, she gets the cold shoulder and a stern warning about the Doctor's fury.

It's nice to see the Sontarans back in action again...sort of.

The troops gather around their leader Colonel Manton as he explains who the Headless Monks are and how they're unable to be phased by reason. He uncloaks each one down the line, revealing stubs where their heads used to be. When he reaches the last one, it's revealed to be the Doctor. He gives a chipper hello and cues his allies to do their thing. The lights go dark and he disappears.

One of the soldiers freaks out and shoots a Headless Monk by accident, and the Monks retaliate. Colonel Manton attempts to restore order by forcing everyone to take out the power packs to their guns. As they do that, the Silurians, Sontarans and Judoon forces appear with weapons raised. At the same time, Rory reaches Madame Kovarian before she can escape and retrieves his daughter Melody. Henry & Toby Avery make a brief appearance here to help Rory out.

The Doctor, considering this his greatest achievement, celebrates with Vastra and Dorium. It's short-lived, however, when Dorium discovers that Madame Kovarian has been scanning Melody this whole time and that there are traces of Time Lord DNA in her. The Doctor guesses that Melody was more than likely conceived during Amy and Rory's honeymoon aboard the TARDIS and that the time vortex had something to do with the altering of the DNA.

As everyone else regroups, Amy and Rory tend to their daughter using the Doctor's ancient wooden cradle. Madame Kovarian, well away from Demon's Run, contacts the Doctor to explain Melody's purpose in this world and that she will be developed into a weapon for the war against him. She also delightfully explains that he's fallen into yet another trap and that fooling him twice is a privilege.

The Silurians make a comeback...and don't really do much.

Instantly, the TARDIS is blocked by a force field, and the Headless Monks attack. They manage to kill Dorium, Strax and Bucket before being fully defeated. At the same time, Kovarian appears to Melody via the method she used for Amy and tells her to wake up. The baby bursts into goo, signifying that she was also made from "the flesh." Amy goes into hysterics just as the Doctor arrives. He tries to calm her, but she's inconsolable.

River appears at this time, via teleportation. The Doctor accosts her for not helping when she was needed most. She explains that she was not able to help and that all of these events were brought on by him; or rather, these events were brought on by a genuine fear of the Doctor. Angry and over-emotional, The Doctor demands to know who she is.

River shows the Doctor the cradle, directing his attention to the Gallifreyan symbols on the side. He recognizes River's identity immediately and runs off to the TARDIS to rescue Melody. He asks River to take everyone back to their proper time stream and then vanishes.

Still a bit hysterical, Amy brandishes a gun and demands that River explain what the Doctor learned. River does as before and points out the cradle, which leads Amy to believe the clue is in the Gallifreyan symbols. Instead the clue is in the cloth token made by Bucket. The name "Melody Pond" has no direct translation in Bucket's language, so she approximated and instead etched "River Song" into the cloth. River confirms that she is in fact Melody.

I suppose it IS kind of weird being older than your mother and father...

And now, our thoughts on the mid-season cliffhanger!

Amber

I wanted more.

I wanted more than River being Amy and Rory's kid. It was so obvious that I hoped it would be a red herring. All that build up for something I gathered when I saw the casting info.

I wanted more than a big battle that didn't happen.

I wanted more than a retread of a retread and yet another young girl that met and then became obsessed with The Doctor.

I wanted more than another "enhanced" companion.

I wanted one of the species that The Doctor loves so much to actually be his equal. Having her be part Time Lord just cheapens her. Having her be Amy & Rory's kid just cheapens them all.

I just wanted something to make it feel like it was worth looking forward to.

I'm not disappointed with the actors, the effects crew or even the boom mic guy. They were fantastic.

I guess I wanted too much. Won't make that mistake when it returns in the fall.

Jon

The episode was a bit clumsy in terms of pacing and continuity, and the big reveal that River is Melody just wasn't that big of a surprise. That speculation has been bouncing around in my noggin since at least the first episode of the season. I do like the direction they're going in with River's character, but I'm not sure I quite get or like where they're going with the whole "half Time Lord" thing.

The brightest point in this episode is when River finally calls the Doctor out for being the big bully of time and space. She knocks him down a peg or two and it was quite a nice moment. I like the idea that the Doctor isn't the all-perfect savior of the universe and when that aspect comes into play, the story is stronger for it. I'm reminded faintly of Waters of Mars in which the Doctor declares himself the "Time Lord Victorious." And while this isn't nearly as well-written as that, the thought is there and it's appreciated.

They seriously need to stop trying to trick us into thinking Amy is talking about the Doctor when she talks about "her man." It's about as worn as Rory dying, and frankly kind of irritating. And what was with the Cybermen, anyway? I understand Rory needed the info on where Demon's Run was, but did it have to be the second most irritating villains in the history of Doctor Who?

And this is where Doctor Who takes a hiatus until some time in September. TCC will have a brief retrospective to bring you up to speed just before the second half of the season, so stick with us!

Mutants take center stage this weekend, and Mandy Moore plays a marriage counselor trying to prevent her parents from divorcing. There's a couple documentaries thrown into the mix, and that god awful Lion of Judah gets either a wider release or an official one. Jean-Luc Godard's subtitle-less piece gets play on one screen and Submarine attempts to quirk us all to death.

Are you going to see anything this weekend? Do any of these films look particularly interesting? Do you agree or disagree with any of my sentiments? Let your thoughts be known by commenting below!

Films after the jump!

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Directed By: Matthew Vaughn
Written By: Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz
Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (3,641 screens)
Synopsis: In 1963, Charles Xavier starts up a school and later a team, for humans with superhuman abilities. Among them is Erik Lensherr, his best friend... and future archenemy.

Thoughts: This is pretty much the only comic book film that I've been anxious to see this year, and this international trailer pretty much has my ass in the seat come the weekend.

Diagnosis: Want to see.

BEAUTIFUL BOY

Directed By: Shawn Ku
Written By: Michael Armbruster, Shawn Ku
Starring: Michael Sheen, Maria Bello and Kyle Gallner
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (4 screens)
Synopsis: A married couple on the verge of separation are leveled by the news their 18-year-old son committed a mass shooting at his college, then took his own life.

Thoughts: The trailer kind of has me interested. It looks like some solid performances throughout, and even though the plot seems a little heavy-handed, it looks like a decent enough performance piece. Definitely rental category for me.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant.

BEGINNERS

Directed By: Mike Mills
Written By: Mike Mills
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer and Mélanie Laurent
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (5 screens)
Synopsis: A young man is rocked by two announcements from his elderly father: that he has terminal cancer, and that he has a young male lover.

Thoughts: The trailer can't decide what movie to sell, so I find myself partially interested in this. Ewan McGregor is quite easy on the eyes and so is his co-star Mélanie Laurent.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant.

EMPIRE OF SILVER

Directed By: Christina Yao
Written By: Christina Yao
Starring: Aaron Kwok, Lantian Chang and Zhicheng Ding
Release Date: June 2, 2011 (17 screens)
Synopsis: In 1899, a carefree young man must prepare to take over his family's Chinese banking empire.

Thoughts: The trailer does absolutely nothing for me.

Diagnosis: Pass.

FILM SOCIALISME

Directed By: Jean-Luc Godard
Written By: Jean-Luc Godard
Starring: Catherine Tanvier, Christian Sinniger and Jean-Marc Stehlé
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (1 screens)
Synopsis: A symphony in three movements. Things such as a Mediterranean cruise, numerous conversations, in numerous languages, between the passengers, almost all of whom are on holiday... Our Europe. At night, a sister and her younger brother have summoned their parents to appear before the court of their childhood. The children demand serious explanations of the themes of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity. Our humanities. Visits to six sites of true or false myths: Egypt, Palestine, Odessa, Hellas, Naples and Barcelona.

Thoughts: Saw it at AFI Fest last November. No subtitles, and quite the departure from Band of Outsiders, which was my introduction to Jean-Luc Godard. Still undecided how I feel about it.

Diagnosis: Undecided...

THE LION OF JUDAH

Directed By: Deryck Broom, Roger Hawkins
Written By: Brent Dawes
Starring: Ernest Borgnine, Leon Clingman and Georgina Cordova
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (81 screens)
Synopsis: Follow the adventures of a bold lamb (Judah) and his stable friends as they try to avoid the sacrificial alter the week preceding the crucifixion of Christ. It is a heart-warming account of the Easter story as seen through the eyes of a lovable pig (Horace), a faint-hearted horse (Monty), a pedantic rat (Slink), a rambling rooster (Drake), a motherly cow (Esmay) and a downtrodden donkey (Jack). This magnificent period piece with its epic sets is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Enveloped in humor, this quest follows the animals from the stable in Bethlehem to the great temple in Jerusalem and onto the hillside of Calvary as these unlikely heroes try to save their friend. The journey weaves seamlessly through the real biblical accounts of Palm Sunday, Jesus turning the tables in the temple, Peter's denial and with a tense, heart-wrenching climax, depicts the crucifixion and resurrection with gentleness and breathtaking beauty. For Judah, the lamb with the heart of a lion, it is a story of courage and faith. For Jack, the disappointed donkey, it becomes a pivotal voyage of hope. For Horace, the, well the dirty pig, and Drake the ignorant rooster, it is an opportunity to do something inappropriate and get into trouble.

Thoughts: I think I goofed when I posted this a few weeks back. But hey, I got my info from Box Office Mojo so I BLAME THEM....for making me deal WITH THIS CRAP AGAIN.

Diagnosis: Pass...harder.

LOVE, WEDDING, MARRIAGE

Directed By: Dermot Mulroney
Written By: Anouska Chydzik, Caprice Crane
Starring: Mandy Moore, Kellan Lutz and Jane Seymour
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (2 screens)
Synopsis: A happy newlywed marriage counselor's views on wedded bliss get thrown for a loop when she finds out her parents are getting divorced.

Thoughts: This looks stupid.

Diagnosis: Pass.

REJOICE AND SHOUT

Directed By: Don McGlynn
Written By:
Starring: Smokey Robinson, Mavis Staples and Willa Ward
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (1 screens)
Synopsis: A documentary on Gospel music's 200-year history.

Thoughts: I feel like I say this every couple weeks about some documentary or another, that it's solid but not really my cup of tea. Well...it looks solid, but not my cup of tea. If this makes it's way to Netflix, I'll totally check it out.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant.

SUBMARINE

Directed By: Richard Ayoade
Written By: Richard Ayoade
Starring: Craig Roberts, Sally Hawkins and Paddy Considine
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (4 screens)
Synopsis: 15-year-old Oliver Tate has two objectives: To lose his virginity before his next birthday, and to extinguish the flame between his mother and an ex-lover who has resurfaced in her life.

Thoughts: This is either too quirky for it's own good or it's just the right amount of quirk, but good luck guessing THAT from the trailer.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant.

WOMEN, ART, REVOLUTION

Directed By: Lynn Hershman-Leeson
Written By:
Starring: Lynn Hershman-Leeson
Release Date: June 3, 2011 (1 screens)
Synopsis: Through intimate interviews, provocative art, and rare, historical film and video footage, this feature documentary reveals how art addressing political consequences of discrimination and violence, the Feminist Art Revolution radically transformed the art and culture of our times.

Thoughts: Seems interesting enough.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant

Disclaimers and Stuff:

I wouldn't be able to do Diagnosis:Film each week without IMDB and Box Office Mojo, where I get almost all of the info from.

Directed by: Daniel Minahan
Written by: David Benioff & D.B. Weiss

A TCC RATING OF:
***½~ (3.5/5)

The episode opens at an unknown location, featuring a conversation between Jamie and a second man, also a Lannister. They discuss what has been happening at King's Landing, and the mystery man pledges 30,000 troops to Jamie to help get Tyrion back and help secure the future good of the Lannister house.

Meanwhile, at King's Landing, Eddard confronts Cersei about Bran seeing her and Jamie making love, and tells her to leave the kingdom while King Robert is still out hunting, because he's going to spill the beans to him upon his return. Lord Baelish is also shown giving a soliloquy to lesbian whores about how much he loved and still loves Catelyn Stark.

Briefly, at Winterfell, the woman Rob and Theon captured is shown doing slave work, and Theon was going to forcibly get intimate with her before he was interrupted by the servant to the Lord of Winterfell.

At The Wall, which we haven't seen in a while, Jon sees his uncle's horse run back to The Wall, without his uncle upon it.

Back to King's Landing, Eddard gets word that King Robert has been seriously injured by a boar and is going to die. King Robert gets alone time with Eddard and writes a will stating that Eddard will be the protector of the realm and acting king until Joffrey becomes of age, but Eddard who is writing it down, puts “rightful heir” in place of “Joffrey.” Outside his chambers, Eddard talks with the other people close to the King, and hears that Robert was reeling from drinking his wine, which was served to him by his squire, a Lannister. Eddard tries to cancel the arrangements to assassinate Daenerys Targaryen, but he is too late.

Speaking of Daenerys, at the Dothraki city, the Khal does not seem to be in a hurry to take over the kingdoms, and she asks Sir Jorah to help convince Khal Drogo, but he declines. Sir Jorah goes to pick up the mail, and gets a message from King's Landing that he has a full pardon should he want to return. In the market, Daenerys is offered wine from a vendor, but Sir Jorah interferes and discovers it was poisoned and the man is captured.

"I wish I wasn't so old, my beauiful blonde Lannister hair is going away..."

Returning to The Wall, the recruits are graduating to become builders, stewards, or rangers. Jon gets chosen to be a steward to the commander of The Wall, which he sees as payback for being a little bitch and standing up for the fat man. Jon and the fat man will both take their oath to the Night's Watch north of the wall since they worship the old gods, not the new ones.

Meanwhile, at King's Landing, Lord Renley talks to Eddard, trying to convince him to capture Joffrey in the middle of the night to hold power so he can eventually be King. Eddard, however, is planning on transferring power to King Robert's brother, Stannis. Lord Baelish comes to see Eddard, and tries to convince him to make peace with the Lannisters, release Tyrion, let Sansa marry Joffrey, and then if Joffrey will be problematic as King when he ages, they can put Lord Renley in his place. Eddard does not like that idea either.

Back at The Wall for the third time, we see Jon and the fat man make their vows, and then Jon's dog, Ghost, walks up to them from the forest with a severed hand in his mouth.

At the Dothraki City, the Khal is upset with the assassination attempt and promises to sail the seas and invade Westeros so that his son can sit in the throne.

Lastly, at King's Landing, King Robert finally passes away. We hear Lord Renley left in the morning with Sir Lloris and 50 men. Eddard strolls into the grand chamber with his personal guards and the King's former guards who Lord Baelish has paid to support their side. There is a big showdown between Cersei, who is claiming Joffrey is going to be the new King, and Eddard, who has the will from King Robert himself. Cersei rips up the will, and Joffrey orders Eddard's men killed. The men Lord Baelish hired turn against Eddard's bodyguards, and Lord Baelish sticks a knife to Eddard's throat.

Although they don't call it Oktoberfest, it's always a sausage fest at The Wall...

Everything good that happened in the past two episodes for this series was undone in this episode. Gone is the great pacing and exciting action, replaced again by political moves. I am not inherently opposed to slow-moving shows, but I don't like slow-moving shows that spend little time developing characters. It just feels like they are cramming too much plot into each episode, which does not give them time to spend on certain things. We only got one scene at Winterfell, one scene with Jamie, we didn't see Arya or Sansa at all, and no time was spent showing what happened to Tyrion or Catelyn. I am also learning very little about the characters and making no emotional connections, because almost all of the episode is devoted to plot.

That said, I do understand that it is setting up the last three episodes of the season, which will likely be more exciting than this one, just because of everything that has happened. The Lannisters made a power-play and are now sitting on the throne, and the Dothraki are going to invade Westeros very soon. Civil war seems imminent, and war with the Dothraki as well, although most people in the kingdom have no idea of that threat.

The most interesting part of this episode though was Sir Jorah. It was implied that he has been given or will be given instructions to kill Daenerys himself, hence the pardon from the kingdom. However he stepped in and saved her life from the merchant assassin. Could his loyalties truly lie with Daenerys now, or will he once again betray the royalty nearest him and flee back to Westeros a hero to the kingdom and a mortal enemy of the Dothraki?

Directed by: Jodie Foster
Written by: Kyle Killen
Starring: Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, & Anton Yelchin

A TCC RATING OF:
****~ (4/5)

When I heard the premise for The Beaver a couple years ago, back when the script was at the top of The Black List (a list of the hottest un-produced screenplays floating around Hollywood) I thought “this sounds hilarious!” Fast forward to a few months ago when the trailer drops, and I thought “this looks awful!” When you hear that the movie is about a depressed guy who finds a beaver puppet and starts to talk through it, you think it's going to have some kind of quirky indie sensibility in the vein of films like Little Miss Sunshine. Actually, The Beaver is a drama first, and a comedy second, and it handles the “gimmick” seriously, with surprisingly good results.

The Beaver stars Mel Gibson as Walter, the head of an international toy company, who has a wife (Jodie Foster) and two kids (Anton Yelchin, Riley Thomas Stewart). Walter is battling serious depression, has tried every kind of therapy known to mankind, and gets kicked out of his home. After buying a bunch of booze and picking up a beaver puppet from a garbage can, he tries to kill himself but the beaver puppet talks him out of it and takes control of his life. The rest of the movie deals with Walter managing his new life through The Beaver.

The first thing to address is Mel Gibson. Say what you will about his off-screen activity, but personally I am still a huge fan of his as an actor, and some of his past films are among my favorites (Lethal Weapon, Mad Max, Galipoli). His role in this film is an excellent role to take in trying to rehab his image, as there are obvious and likely intentional parallels between Walter and Gibson. Both are going through hard times and are ostracized from the people they used to interact with. Through the film, Walter starts to rehabilitate his relationships with his family and brings success back to his company. Throughout the Mel Gibson saga, Jodie Foster was a vocal supporter of Gibson's, so it is not a leap to assume she picked this project and cast Mel at least in part to help him get back into the public consciousness in a positive light.

"What's wrong son, don't you like beavers?"

That said, the film still works really well without thinking about it in terms of the Mel Gibson angle. Unlike most of the other movies coming out this time of year, The Beaver is dramatic, emotional, and thought-provoking. The script does a very good job of forming interesting relationships, demonstrating character development, and exploring various themes.

The four key relationships in the film which form the emotional throughlines of the film are between Walter and his wife (Meredith), Walter and his son (Porter), Porter and a girl from his school (Norah, played by Jennifer Lawrence), and Walter and The Beaver. The relationship between Walter and Meredith is interesting because she clearly loves him, and wants him to get out of his depression, but she has to reconcile that with her own interests and those of her children. How much should someone sacrifice to help someone else? At what point do you just say enough is enough and look to take care of yourself? Can you blame yourself for what is going on with your partner? These are some of the questions the film contemplates and the viewer contemplates. There is no right or wrong presented in the film, it is just shown and left for us to interpret.

The relationship between Walter and Porter is different because of their ages. Walter was emotionally missing for some of Porter's formative years as a teenager, which had a serious influence on how he grew up. Porter keeps post-it notes on his wall chronicling all the similarities he shares with Walter, so that he can eliminate them all one-by-one so he never follows his father's footsteps. Unlike the film presenting the relationship between Walter and Meredith in a relatively unbiased light, Porter takes a definite stance on it. He is upset with Walter for dragging the family down with him and hurting Meredith emotionally. When Walter shows up with The Beaver, Porter gets furious that Meredith just lets him back into her life, and he never accepts Walter's apparent change as a result of the puppet.

"Hey Norah, you looked a lot hotter on the Oscars red carpet."

The major subplot of the movie is between Porter and Norah. Norah finds out Porter writes assignments for people at school for money, and pays him to write her Valedictorian speech. Through the film, Porter tries to dig down to get to Norah's hidden inner feelings about the death of her brother, which she resists. Although it felt a little tacked on, considering it was clearly a movie about Walter, this subplot was helpful in breaking up the subject matter of the film, injecting some different sets and characters into the film.

Lastly, and most importantly, is the relationship between Walter and The Beaver. At the start of the film, the puppet just acts as an emotional barrier between Walter and other people, allowing him to interact with people without seeming depressed. As the movie progresses however, The Beaver begins to take more and more control over Walter, until it is clear he has a mind of his own (to be clear, The Beaver is purely a manifestation of Walter's mind, nothing supernatural) and takes over his life. Themes of identity are heavily explored in this relationship. Is Walter's behaviour through The Beaver really hidden underneath his depression or is it purely acting? The progression toward The Beaver having control is simultaneously a descent into madness for Walter. At its core, the film is a story about Walter's depression spiralling into full blown insanity, which culminates in a thrilling and heart-breaking showdown.

The Beaver could easily have been a tonal mess, considering how much potential for humor the script has, but Jodie Foster really handles it in a serious manner, which makes the film extremely emotionally resonant. It is a very thought-provoking film, without ever being tedious, boring, or feel like it's trying to teach you lessons. It is a stark and honest portrayal of an extremely troubled man trying to deal with his family and his job while battling for control of his own mind, and it should stay in your mind for a while as you ruminate over the nature of relationships and the meaning of identity.

Written By: Matthew Graham
Directed By: Julian Simpson

A TCC RATING OF
****~ (4/5)

This week sees the conclusion of the latest Doctor Who two-parter, unless of course you rely on BBC America for your Doctor Who needs. If that's the case, you'll probably want to wait until next week to read this as you'll be a week behind. In fact, you'll probably have to read the rest of these posts a week behind now. Sucks to be you, ha ha ha.

But seriously, there's some interesting stuff here so let's jump in without further ado.

The Almost People begins with the Doctor-Ganger struggling to reconcile with his previous regenerations. He eventually stabilizes and looks exactly like the Doctor except for the footwear. The Doctor and Doctor-Ganger decide that the best course of action is to restore power to the factory so that they can send a distress call to the mainland. Amy expresses distrust with the Doctor-Ganger as they escape the chapel.

Meanwhile, Jennifer-Ganger rallies the other gangers together to try and convince them to rise up against humanity. She points out that every time a ganger dies, the last question in their eyes is "Why?" The others take the bait but Cleaves-Ganger has some concerns. She's also got a splitting headache.

Rory finally finds Jennifer, but another one appears and tries to convince him that she's the real deal. Both Jennifers fight but one of them pushes the other into some acid, revealing her to be the ganger.

From left: Cleaves, Amy, Jimmy, Dicken and Buzzer

The Doctor and crew make it to the power control room. Suddenly sensing the other gangers in his head, the Doctor-Ganger runs outside. Amy follows him out to ask about the real Doctor's death, but he doesn't respond. Instead, the Doctor-Ganger repeats the "Why?" that Jennifer-Ganger brought up earlier and then pushes Amy up against the wall. She escapes back into the control room, scared. Cleaves separates the Doctor-Ganger from the group, saying that he can't be trusted. In response, the real Doctor sends his ganger and Buzzer, one of the other crew members, off to find Rory and the real Jennifer. When everyone protests, he says that his screwdriver can tell the difference between human and flesh.

Jennifer and Rory reach the cooling vents, and she uses his hand print to shut everything down. This causes the acid to boil, forcing the crew and the Doctor to leave the control room. Jennifer leads Rory into a room where a bunch of gangers are slumped together. They're discarded, but fully aware. Rory says that the world needs to know about this monstrosity, and Jennifer agrees. She gets him to lock the Doctor and crew into the crypt and then reveals herself to be Jennifer-Ganger.

Meanwhile, Buzzer has been killed and Doctor-Ganger awakes to find himself surrounded by the other gangers. They've sent word to the coming ship that there are no other survivors and that the flesh is taken care of; the plan of course being to let the human crew die. Wasting no time, Doctor-Ganger patches through a holographic phone call from Jimmy's son. This sparks compassion from Cleaves-Ganger, who orders that the humans be released.

Jimmy-Ganger reaches the humans and breaks them free, but not before witnessing the death of the real Jimmy. Real Jimmy gives his blessing to Jimmy-Ganger to take his place. The Doctor welcomes him to parenthood.

derp

Meanwhile, unable to deal with the humanity of her ganger peers, Jennifer-Ganger goes off in a rage and turns herself into a monster intent on killing everyone. She chases the others throughout the factory, leading them right underneath the TARDIS, which crashes through thanks to the acid eating away from above. They barricade the door to the room, which won't work for long.

Amy, thinking that the Doctor is going to stay behind, tries to convince him to get into the TARDIS. That's when both Doctors fess up to having tricked Amy. They tell her that they needed to get perspective on the gangers through her eyes. Doctor-Ganger decides to stay behind to destroy Jennifer-Ganger, but not before giving Amy a bit of advice. "Push - but only when she tells you to." Amy doesn't have much time to be confused before being whisked away in the TARDIS. Doctor-Ganger and Cleaves-Ganger come face to face with Jennifer-Ganger and destroy her quickly.

The Doctor drops everyone off at their respective places: Jimmy with his family and Cleaves back at the corporation to try and stop treating the flesh like sub-humans. Once done, Amy suddenly doubles over in pain. Rory and the Doctor bring her back into the TARDIS, where it's revealed that she's in fact a ganger. The Doctor melts her with the screwdriver, telling her that he'll find her shortly.

Amy wakes up in a white container, in a white gown and very pregnant. The Eye Patch Lady from before slides open a window in front of her and tells her to push. She screams as she goes into labour.

Jennifer-Ganger is an angry ganger!

Here's what we at Technicolor Commentary thought of THE ALMOST PEOPLE:

Amber:

Dug the episode. Many of the issues I was having with pacing were cleared up. For some odd reason I have a feeling that there was heavy editing by the showrunner in this one to make up for the past lopsidedness.

Rory has been having sex with fleshAmy. Fodder for awesome vengeance right there. This brings up questions that I don't feel are appropriate to bring up when discussing a "family show".

I like the concept of fleshAmy and not her being somehow "extra special", but the inference to her pregnancy producing a Time Lord bangs against my annoyance to almost all of the companions in the new series saving the day with their magical powers. I would be happy if it were Sexy's doing, but it might not be.

I'm just glad that it doesn't immediately come off as an ending we have already done. Might still turn out that way, but at least I get to be optimistic for an episode. That may be mostly attributed to the reappearance of River. While still part of a multi-episode arc, this episode sat better by itself than any of the other ones since the Moffat takeover.
FleshJenny was a bit much, but it made sense in the plotonium and foreshadowing department. At least fleshAmy was slightly different from the initial flesh beings in that she doesn't seem to have been a copy, but more of a projection.

Part of me wants to see who River is in the next outing, but another part of me doesn't. I would be content if The Doctor was made privy to River's details without the audience being informed, but I don't think I will get that satisfaction due to Moffat's previously discussed stance on women. The equal footing I crave to be maintained will likely slip through the cracks.

Jon:

It makes sense that this is a vast improvement to the first part, since this is in fact a two-parter. But this is pretty much a direct response to complaints that the show hasn't been taking a step back to deal with the characters or any of the implications of what's gone on. Here, we get some good character moments and it's interesting to see the gangers and the humans wrestle with who was real or if they could both be real. And the cliffhanger at the end? Wow.

PROS: Diplomacy gets more play in this outing and actually works. Jimmy and Cleaves accepting their gangers as real beings. Better pacing than previous episodes.

CONS: Jennifer as the CG-freakish-monster-thing.

He took time out from being awesome and writing, to answer some questions for me.

How would you be introduced as a game show contestant?

Ladies, and gentlemen...please welcome a man who spends more time at work on Twitter than he does getting his work done. (Oh damn---I just described every writer that I know)

What is most inspiring to you as a writer?

Once I began my writing journey, a vast number of fellow writers entered my life via the Internet. After spending three months conversing with several hundred different individuals, I realized something very interesting---these people all shared a specific trait. I'm thrilled to report that this particular characteristic happens to be among the most wonderful attributes a human being can possess: the willingness to give. I have met more giving, caring, genuinely sweet people in the past three months than I had over the course of 47 years lived before joining this warm, wonderful group. The support, camaraderie, and information I've received have made me a better person, as this type of behavior has spawned a desire to reciprocate within my soul. I'm very proud to be an integral part of this awesome community.

What skills/talents can you bring to the table in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

Well...I've worked with my hands for the better part of my life, and spent a tremendous number of hours doing physical labor. As a result, I have excellent hand-eye coordination, respectable physical endurance, and a decent amount of strength. Put a bat, sledge hammer, golf club, or machete in my hands, and I'm fairly certain I can hang with some pretty fierce, gourd-smashing individuals in a quest to bring down the undead.

What has been your favorite book to movie adaptation?

I find Robert Ludlum's "Jason Bourne" trilogy to be a great read, and can't get enough of the movies either. For me, it's one of those rare occurrences where the producer, director, and actors found the true essence of the author's works, and made them larger than life on the big screen. The thriller genre is a difficult one to adapt, as the written word can convey such an incredible richness to a scenario. However, each Bourne movie seems to totally capture the subtle nuances found in Ludlum's fiction.

Someone approaches you about making  In Memory of Greed

into a movie, who would you cast in the main roles?
I feel Bradley Cooper, and Maggie Gyllenhaal could easily play In Memory of Greed protagonists, Murhkin Mocado, and Joelle Barstow, and do the roles justice. I would cast the roles of Stuart Roth, Patrick Keegan, and William Graves with actors, Robert Davi, Kenneth Branagh, and Albert Finney, respectively.

You can pick up In Memory of Greed at Amazon.

The Todd Phillips crowd gets a second helping of..whatever, and the kiddies get a sequel to a pretty decent CG-animated film. But the biggest release this weekend (and for me) is The Tree of Life. Just give that trailer a gander and you'll see why I'm excited to see it.

What say you? Are you checking out any new films this weekend? Are you going to see anything that came out last week? I'm kind of curious to see what others thought about Midnight in Paris or if anyone else got to see Went the Day Well? Basically, I want to hear from you!

Films after the jump.

THE HANGOVER PART 2

Directed By: Todd Phillips
Written By: Craig Mazin, Scot Armstrong
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms
Release Date: May 26, 2011 (3,615 screens)
Synopsis: Right after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan, and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu's wedding. Stu's plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry.

Thoughts: A stupid re-hash of part one.

Diagnosis: Pass.

KUNG FU PANDA 2

Directed By: Jennifer Yuh
Written By: Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger
Starring: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie and Jackie Chan
Release Date: May 26, 2011 (3,925 screens)
Synopsis: Po joins forces with a group of new kung-fu masters to take on an old enemy with a deadly new weapon.

Thoughts: Looks like a solid outing for the kiddies, with probably much of what made the first one a solid outing for the kiddies.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant

THE TREE OF LIFE

Directed By: Terrence Malick
Written By: Terrence Malick
Starring: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn and Jessica Chastain
Release Date: May 27, 2011 (4 screens)
Synopsis: The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence.

Thoughts: This will be the first Terrence Malick film I've seen. The trailer is exciting and I keep hearing "visual poetry" used to describe this film. I'm genuinely curious to see just what that means. And...like...the trailer has planets and solar storms.

Diagnosis: REALLY want to see.

TUESDAY, AFTER CHRISTMAS

Directed By: Radu Muntean
Written By: Razvan Radulescu, Radu Muntean
Starring: Dragos Bucur, Maria Popistasu and Mirela Oprisor
Release Date: May 27, 2011 (1 screens)
Synopsis: Paul Hanganu loves two women. Adriana his wife and the mother of their daughter, the woman with whom he's shared the thrills of the past ten years, and Raluca the woman who has made him redefine himself. He has to leave one of them before Christmas.

Thoughts: The trailer really isn't a good sell on the movie. Can't say I'm really drawn to the premise either. Still, I'd watch it from the convenience of my living room.

Diagnosis: Netflix Instant.

UNITED RED ARMY

Directed By: Kôji Wakamatsu
Written By: Kôji Wakamatsu
Starring: Maki Sakai, Arata and Akie Namiki
Release Date: May 27, 2011 (1 screens)
Synopsis: Shot in a raw verite style, United Red Army explores the political unrest of 1960s Japan, when mass student uprisings coincided with the beginnings of the far-left United Red Army group, which tortured and murdered its "deviant" members during a 1972 training session. Mr. Wakamatsu's harrowing film depicts the famed Asama-Sanso incident, which began when members of the United Red Army assassinated 14 of its own, during a group "self-criticism" session, and then broke into a holiday lodge below Mount Asama and took the wife of the lodge-keeper as a hostage. A standoff between police and the URA radicals took place, lasting ten days. The radical student protests that rocked Japan in the late 1960s were in many ways, a response to the growing military alignment between Japan and the United States (ratified by the Japan-US Security Treaty signed in 1951). But the decisions made by the Japanese Communist Party, which was being accused of rigidity (and even "Stalinism") also played a role in the radicalization of the Japanese student movement during the 1960s and 70s in Japan.

Thoughts: This looks kind of interesting based off the trailer.

Diagnosis: Curious to see.

****

Disclaimers and Stuff:

I wouldn't be able to do Diagnosis:Film each week without IMDB and Box Office Mojo, where I get almost all of the info from. I'd also like to thank Ion Cinema for coming through where the others have failed when it comes to information about foreign films releasing in the states.

Directed by: Daniel Minahan
Written by: Jane Espenson, David Benioff & D.B. Weiss

A TCC RATING OF:
****½ (4.5/5)

A Golden Crown opens in King's Landing, where Eddard awakens in his chambers after passing out in the street with his leg wound. He is confronted by Cersei and Robert, who demand that he let Jamie go and tell his wife to release Tyrion. Robert also gives him back his status as Hand of the King. Arya also continues her sword training.

Across the sea, in the Dothraki capital, Daenerys puts one of the old unhatched dinosaur eggs over a fire and then picks it up without getting burned, but it burns her servant.

Meanwhile, in Winterfell, Bran is riding around on his new saddle, but wanders away from his brother Rob, and Theon. He is set upon by bandits, but gets rescued. All of the bandits are killed except one woman who is taken as a prisoner. The bandits were talking about white walkers before getting killed however, and only Bran heard them.

Nobody can say this show does not have enough heart.

Back at the Dothraki capital, Daenerys eats an entire heart as part of a Dothraki ritual. A shawoman is prophesizing that she is pregnant with a boy, who will grow up to unite all the lands. Viserys realizes the Dothraki have completely embraced Daenerys and that he is fucked. He sneaks into her chambers to steal the dragon eggs so he can sell them, but Sir Jorah stops him and won't let him take the eggs. Viserys leaves the eggs there and leaves.

Meanwhile, at Catelyn's sister's castle, The Eyrie, Tyrion manages to bribe his guard to send message to Lady Arryn that he wants to confess his crimes. At the big hearing, Tyrion makes a joke out of it, telling childhood stories, and then talks his way into having a trial by combat where he and Lady Arryn both name their champions to fight in their place. The badass who travelled with Tyrion and Catelyn en route to The Eyrie volunteers to fight for Tyrion, and if he is victorious, Tyrion goes free.

Returning to King's Landing, we see the King's hunting party, where Lord Renley storms away, angry about King Robert's misogyny. Eddard is overseeing some kind of hearing, where a man says his village was pillaged and destroyed by a man Eddard and Lord Baelish identify as Lord Gregor. We find out Lord Gregor is often referred to as working under Tywin Lannister, father of Jamie, Cersei, and Tyrion. Eddard declares Lord Gregor stripped of all his titles, and an enemy of the state. Tasks a knight with getting 100 men and bringing him to justice, and sends a raven to Tywin summoning him to court. Joffrey Baratheon goes to see Sansa, asks for her forgiveness, puts on the moves, and they kiss.

"It's just a flesh wound!"

Back at The Eyrie, Tyrion's champion beats down Lady Arryn's champion, and Tyrion walks out a free man.

Meanwhile, at Winterfell, Theon comes across his favorite whore leaving town for King's Landing. She tells him she heard Jamie attacked Eddard and that war is inevitably coming.

Over at King's Landing, Eddard tells his daughters, Sansa and Arya to pack up for the move back to Winterfell. They object but he will have none of it. He hears Sansa say something about bearing Joffrey's blonde-headed babies and has an idea. He goes back to his book outlining the lineages of each house and sees that every man in the Baratheon line was black-haired, except Joffrey. He now assumes Joffrey is not Robert's real son.

Lastly, Viserys interrupts a feast the Dothraki are having, threatens Daenerys' baby, and demands he get the army that was promised to him from Khal Drogo. He is not afraid because the Dothraki apparently cannot spill blood in their city. The Khal has him grabbed by two men, and pours molten gold all over his head, giving him the crown he so desired, and killing him in the process.

Irony never cost so much...

Now for the review, this was another awesome episode. Two weeks in a row now we have been treated to fantastic episodes. The pace has really picked up, both in terms of action and political intrigue. The political feud between the Lannisters and the Starks is quickly reaching boiling point, and some sort of civil war seems almost inevitable.

The biggest problem that the show still has is that there are a lot of characters in a lot of different places so we do not get a lot of time spent with them. There was not a single mention or scene of Jon Snow or The Wall, and the Eyrie plot seemed to resolve very quickly. A lot of the character development is not shown, and thus isn't entirely believable at times.

That said, if I had to choose between the fast paced and exhilarating episodes of the past two weeks or the slow, meandering episodes of the three previous weeks, I would choose the more exciting style. Eddard is really pushing the story forward, using his power as Hand of the King to force things.

Another complaint I have with the show, which could just be a result of me being misled intentionally, is that the dichotomy between good and evil seems too clear. I am a big fan of moral ambiguity, which is why The Shield is so great. It seems evident that the Lannisters (Jamie & Cersei) are pretty bad people, and that Eddard is the noble figure trying to bring them to justice. I would love to see some ambiguity introduced in that dichotomy later in the season, but nothing's perfect.

Directed by: Rob Marshall
Written by: Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio
Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, & Ian McShane

A TCC RATING OF:
***½~ (3.5/5)

As I said in my review of Fast Five, sometimes it's okay for a movie to be light-hearted and fun. Pirates 4 is another example of one of those movies. While it does involve one plot-line that touches on a few interesting themes, the movie as a whole makes no effort to be overly dramatic or thematic. It revels in its fun and has a great energy and pace to it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides stars Johnny Depp as the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow on a quest to find the fountain of youth. But as we know from the past three films, nothing is ever easy with Jack Sparrow. Also en route to the fountain are the Spanish, Blackbeard (Ian McShane), and the now-privateer Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). And since it wouldn't be a Pirates movie without a saucy young lady, an old flame of Sparrow's, played by Penélope Cruz, also gets involved (who, by the way, is still sexy wearing a fake moustache).

Not liking the second and the third Pirates movies, I was very hesitant to see this one, and the trailer did not give me a good vibe. That said, this movie actually serves as a reboot to the series. It has more in common with the first Pirates film, which I still believe to be one of the better adventure films of the 2000s than it does with its sequels. Gone are Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and the focus is squarely on Johnny Depp. Say what you will about the man, but he can carry a movie.

"You look surprisingly similar to Keira Knightley right now Penélope..."

One of the biggest problems with Pirates 3 is its scope. It has far too many characters and tries to do too much. It just ends up being an incomprehensible mess. Although Pirates 4 sounds like it would have the same problem, considering all the different groups going after the fountain, it does not fall into the same trap. The movie spends basically no time with the Spanish, using them as more of a plot point than a character, and in true Pirates fashion the characters intersect often. There are never more than 2 groups of characters to follow, with Jack Sparrow always being involved directly with one or the other.

Beyond the main plot, there are a couple of sub-plots, including the relationship between Barbossa and Sparrow, the relationship between Angelica (Cruz) and Sparrow, and the character of Philip (Sam Claflin), a clergyman taken by Blackbeard as a slave. Despite my opinions of religion and my aversion to such one-note goody-two-shoes characters, the Philip character was by far the most interesting part of the film, and the only aspect of the film which had thematic relevance. Good vs. Evil, faith, salvation are a few of the ideas that get a little bit of attention, just enough to give the film some weight.

"I'm on a boat."

As an adventure movie, the most important part of the film is its action. Although the set pieces are not as innovative as in the past movies, they are still very exciting. I'm a sucker for sword-fights and there is a very good one near the beginning of the film. The finale of the film, again in true Pirates fashion, is a tense confrontation between all parties involved, and is very reminiscent of the finale in Curse of the Black Pearl. The only disappointing part of the action is that there is no ship to ship combat, which, when well executed, is absolutely fantastic to see (e.g. Master & Commander).

The direction is competent, although nothing special, the soundtrack is comprised of the familiar bombastic Pirates tunes, and the acting is fun and energetic as you would expect. On the whole, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides knows exactly what it wants to be (a popcorn adventure movie) and hits the spot. Every once in a while it's okay to have movies like this, but if movies don't try to achieve more, we would never get movies like Inception or Kick-Ass. If you want a well-paced action adventure that's a lot of fun, go see Pirates, but if you're looking for any sort of character exploration, drama, or thematic exploration, go elsewhere.

Written By: Matthew Graham
Directed By: Julian Simpson

A TCC RATING OF
***~~ (3/5)

This week sees the beginning of another two-parter, which marks the second for the season and which will be followed by the mid-season cliffhanger. I'm pretty sure this means we'll all be in a state of agitation until about September when the series resumes. Unfortunately for legal viewers in the US, the BBCA is delaying The Almost People by a week due to projected low numbers on Memorial Day. We're not going to let that deter us, however, and will have next week's episode recapped and reviewed as per usual.

Now let's begin!

We start this week's episode in a factory on a remote island on Earth. The factory seems to be pumping some kind of corrosive material, which the skeleton crew has been tasked to keep an eye on. The crew, lead by foreman Miranda Cleaves, start off by fixing some of the machinery. One of the crew members falls into a vat of the corrosive material, melting instantly. Cleaves and the others aren't too bothered by this. It's revealed as they leave the area that they are but copies of the original crew anyway.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and crew get a surprise when the TARDIS is caught in a "solar tsunami." They do all they can to right the ship, but to no avail. The TARDIS materializes on the remote island and the gang decides to investigate. The Doctor notices a pipe carrying the corrosive material and is troubled by the implications.

They make their way into the factory and are apprehended by the original skeleton crew, who want to know the Doctor's business. He lies, giving them his psychic paper. He warns them all that the "solar tsunami" was just the first wave and that a much bigger storm is coming. They ignore his pleas and continue their work. Jennifer, one of the more timid workers, takes her place in the machine that allows the crew to control their "gangers." She activates her ganger just as the storm hits.

We might be in over our heads here..

The Doctor makes a break for the solar collector to shut the factory down, but he doesn't get to it in time. He's electrocuted and knocked unconscious. When he comes to, he realizes that he's been out for much longer. He rejoins Amy, Rory and the skeleton crew to figure out what happened. The Doctor postulates that the gangers have gained sentience and that they're out and about wandering the factory. Cleaves argues that that can't be the case, until the Doctor tricks her into holding a scalding hot plate. Since the gangers don't feel pain, she doesn't drop it.

Jennifer is also revealed to be a ganger, which leaves the real version out on the island somewhere all alone. Ganger Jennifer attacks Rory initially, but he befriends her and brings her to the original crew. The Doctor also finds and brings in the other gangers to try and make peace. He fails and Cleaves kills one of the ganger crew members.

Ganger Jennifer gets in a rage and escapes with the other gangers. The Doctor accuses Cleaves of killing a living being, but Cleaves is certain she's done the right thing. She convinces the rest of the crew to join her in the fight against the gangers, which distresses the Doctor greatly. He asks where the safest place in the factory is and Cleaves informs him that it's the chapel. He directs everyone there.

The gangers arm themselves in preparation for a fight against the original copies and march against the chapel. Since they stole the acid suits earlier, they've got a leg up on their superiors. The Doctor attempts to get everyone into the chapel, but Rory leaves to go find the real Jennifer. Once locked in, the Doctor and crew find themselves face to face with a ganger Doctor.

These guys could really use a day at the beach or something.

Here's what we at Technicolor Commentary thought about The Rebel Flesh:

Amber

Another multi-part episode, this one penned by the guy who wrote "Fear Her". I don't think I need to bother making a joke here to get my point across.

Eye patch lady still creeps me out. It just isn't anything introduced in this episode, so I can't make that a plus. Seems like eye patch lady functions like a Silent, since Amy still hasn't mentioned her and her nightmare fueling glory.

I agree with Charlie at io9 that The Doctor was pretty useless in this one. Would have been great if he had dropped Amy and Rory off and the first part was the "Doctor-lite" episode. It also would help if this didn't feel ridiculously similar to The Hungry Earth. The sad thing is that I liked the first part of that one better.

I guess I should be less annoyed since the episodes overall haven't been terrible when they are bad, but just blah. Then again at least when they were terrible, they had comedic value.

Part two needs to better dammit.

Jon

PROS: Rory didn't die and instead did some heroic things. The whole "are clones real people" dilemma introduced in the episode. The creepy factor. Removing the TARDIS from the equation in a way that made sense. The Doctor trying diplomacy for once this season.

CONS: It's the first part of a two-parter. The cliffhanger wasn't much of a surprise. The Doctor was kind of a non-entity. Not much happens. Like the episodes before, it seems like this one is in a hurry to go somewhere and as a result kind of goes nowhere. What happened to the stakes? Did we lose them at Pandorica Opens?