Yawnsters vs. Aliens

Keep looking tough, idiots

I finally got around to watching Monsters Vs. Aliens, which I'd been vehemently avoiding since I saw the first trailer. The title really says it all, doesn't it? I assumed one of two things: Either they were really going full-tilt and making a shameless homage to 50's monster movies, or they were trying to be cool. Guess what; Dreamworks went with the latter.

Don't get me wrong, I assume (some of) the creators were in the "50's monster movie" mindset, but it barely bleeds through. All we get is another forgettable CGI animated feature. Why is it so forgettable? Why is it squarely on my shit list of other movies just like it? Funny you should ask...

- Certain things are really indistinguishable from other movies of its ilk (Bee Movie, Shark Tale, Kung Fu Panda, etc) Especially any quirky, nervous female leads. They always sound forced. Always.

- Don't forget the instantaneously self-dating pop culture humor. That Al Gore joke will be funny forEVER, you guys.

- I'm perturbed by this because it got decent critical acclaim. Have their standards been lowering over time? You'd think with folks like Pixar pushing the envelope they'd have HIGHER standards. Same thing happened with Kung Fu Panda. Tell me why people were so kind to that movie.

- The animation pushes the models to their limits, and every subtle squash and stretch, along with every cartoony little anticipation/follow-through makes the characters look like jelly. B.O.B. notwithstanding.

- The voiceover work is distracting more than anything. Why are Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen making animated films? Their voices are, frankly, unremarkable. Also, who needs Reese Witherspoon's EXACT voice to make the character come to life?

- Dialogue feels forced, cliched. The most frustrating part, by far, is that some of these jokes/situations are funny on paper, but somewhere in the scriptwriting/acting/animation/editing phase, the humor was carved out. All those things really need to be in sync in order for something like that to work.

- Story had sooooo much meaty potential, but they lingered in that grey area between overbearing and undeserving exposition. In a film called "Monsters Vs. Aliens", I'm really not gonna care too much about the rationale behind the characters and the action. But, if you're thoughtful enough to hand me some, I'd like a little bit more than "we've been kept here for 50 years". LOL WUT.

Monsters Vs. Aliens. Sub-par, and a lot of the visuals look ridiculous and confusing outside of their intended 3D realm. But putting Insectosaurus in your film carries it slightly above total failure.